My original intent with this song was to write about someone who’s got a relationship with something that’s hurting them but a lot of the time they don’t have the clarity of how much it is hurting them. I also wanted to write alongside that about the effect that can have on other people involved. When I started writing, I particularly had in mind drugs/weed as it has become such a common thing in our age group and I know how it can impact people.
I wanted to use object writing and musemes as techniques for writing my lyrics. I tried to show progression through my lyrics in the verses introducing the idea of ‘you’, ‘it’s’ and ‘I’ in the chorus to hold a personal perspective and assist listeners to become participants in the song. Although the whole song is from my perspective, I wanted to make the chorus about my own thoughts as I believe too often the people who get caught in these cycles of dependence on things can become quite inward thinking/don’t necessarily realise their impacts on others and I wanted to highlight this. In the last verse I wanted to show reflective progression by asking a question and then subtly answering it with some phrases that could be associated with there not being a change in things and summing up the song in this way.
I ended up using some of the words from my object writing word map to imply a certain theme for example ‘smokey haze’, however, I didn’t want the lyrics to be completely obvious and wanted to leave them open to interpretation. I remembered some of the tools I’d learnt using the cut up technique and it meant I felt ok challenging my normal lyric structure in my songwriting.
In regards to the instrumentation for my track, I wanted to create quite an atmospheric, real, deep piece of music with lots of different layers, textures and colours i.e. engulfing you into a different world/haze when listening to the song. I initially wanted to record upright piano and vocals in the studio to capture the detail and ambience of the real piano and then create some layers through sampling and midi later on.
For the structure of my song I wanted to take people on a similar journey to the journey I felt I had been on. I tried to create an atmosphere from the off and gradually add in more layers to bring the listener further and further into this world. I wanted to repeat the chorus for a last time at the end with most of the instrumentation cut out and higher octave piano to represent the idea of just one person. Rather than the two people involved in the lyrics, it’s now just the one because of the distance that has been created through the dependence on the thing that’s hurting them.
It seemed you had an element of control
But it’s latched on, it’s latched on
A parasite of fantasy
detrimentally impacting your reality
Not knowing what’s fake or truly you
I’m scared it’s all being morphed into one
Through that smokey haze
Manipulating the equisit days, within you
I feel undone, I’m so tired
My blinded mind comes alive when it’s not with you
I’m wide awake
Yet so asleep
An enslaving trap with steamed up mirrors
Blocking the view
The drug of deception worps yet befriends you
I feel so invested yet so congested with all the craze
I’m so conflicted
What’s real and what’s for fun?
A playful juxtaposition with the serious dangers of reality that are
Picking up the dust